We chose our new Pope a month ago.

Meet Pat Pope – one of the Plan B team’s newest additions. We solicited some pretty questionable questions from our staff during his interview process. See what Pat had to say:

How many miracles have you performed in your life?

I once opened up a pack of Pop-Tarts and there were three inside instead two…does that count?

 

Do you drive a bulletproof car?

No, but both Popemobiles do have a lot of similarities. They lack air conditioning and neither one has had a woman in it.

 

Our dress code doesn’t allow for robes – will that be a problem?

I never leave the house without a finely pressed three-piece suit on. So, no. Next question.

 

How do you feel about people who pretend to sneeze, just to get to you to “bless” them?

The same way I feel about people who invite me to play pick-up football and let me be quarterback just so I’ll yell “Hail Mary!”

 

Why do you think people love Swiss cheese?

You probably want me to say because it’s “holy.” But I won’t. I’m gonna go with my heart on this. I think people love Swiss cheese because of its mild, yet distinct flavor and its versatility. In fact, my favorite thing to do with Swiss cheese is make a quick California Croque Monsieur. This is a twist on the traditional French-style Croque Monsieur that I make at the office during my lunch breaks.

You’ll need a fresh roll, preferably a baguette, a few slices of roasted turkey or ham (I prefer turkey for dietary reasons), a few thick slices of Swiss cheese, and an avocado. It’s so easy. Just slice the baguette, stack up your turkey and cheese, microwave it for 25-35 seconds (so the cheese gets melty, but not too melty), then smear the fresh avocado on it. There. You’re done. Enjoy.

 

That sounds delicious.

Thanks. It’s a family recipe.

 

Ok. Last question: if you were infallible, what would your first axiomatically statement be?

Summer Fridays start today.

 

But it’s Wednesday…

How dare you question the Pope!!!

(Crashing noise. screaming.)

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