The Top 11 Ways Pitching New Business Is Like Dating

The butterflies in your stomach. That perfect outfit. Those well-rehearsed icebreakers. The trendiest restaurant in town. Candles. Flowers. The ambulance ride home…

No, we’re not describing a first date, although it’s pretty close. Actually, we’re talking about a new business pitch–a production that, like dating, will send you through an emotional roller coaster of highs, lows, and debilitating nausea. Hey, it’s not all bicycles built for two and long walks on the beach at dusk. In fact, pitching and dating are both basically well-worn routines of crippling paranoia, nervous anticipation and devastating rejection.

So, when you think it might be time to start seeing new people, remember these, the Top 11 Ways Pitching New Business is Like Dating. (And, for the record, it’s not you; it’s us.)

  1. You both awkwardly try to analyze how much money the other has.
  2. Neither side can determine how much of their service they want to give away for free.
  3. After the first meeting, you have to wait three days until you call.
  4. Small talk usually consists of local sports or the weather.
  5. If both sides aren’t aroused, it probably isn’t going to work out.
  6. Lots of money or extremely good looks are really, really helpful.
  7. If a prospect keeps postponing a follow-up call, they’re just not that into you.
  8. No matter how much they say it doesn’t, size matters.
  9. You’re always paranoid that they’re secretly playing the field
  10. They’ll never tell you the true number of partners they’ve had before you.